I wonder why.
Because for one, I hate social events. But I am NOT gonna admit that just because of that, I have a mental illness. Of course, there's the DSM/ICD criteria for what accounts for a certain mental disorder, but I would like to think that it is sometimes just purely a matter of choice.
I would have digressed, but it really peeves me out when people confuse antisocial personality disorder with social phobia. As per my faithful wiki (which I know is not always a legit resource but pardon my lack of research effort for a rushed blog post), antisocial personality disorder is "characterized by a pervasive pattern of disregard for, or violation of, the rights of others. There may be an impoverished moral sense or conscience and a history of crime, legal problems, and impulsive and aggressive behavior." Both ICD and DSM includes psychopathy or sociopathy as part of said condition.
This is vastly different from avoidant personality disorder (which is what most people actually mean when they say antisocial) - " a Cluster C personality disorder recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders handbook as afflicting persons when they display a pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation, and avoidance of social interaction. Individuals afflicted with the disorder tend to describe themselves as ill at ease, anxious, lonely, and generally feel unwanted and isolated from others." This condition constitutes generalized social phobia (which is considered the milder end of the spectrum); the entire spectrum sharing the same underlying personality of introversion.
Okay back to where I was, I hate social events. Well maybe 'hate' is too strong a word to use, 'generally do not prefer' sounds like a better alternative. And by social events, I don't mean close family gatherings, or catch-up sessions with close friends etc; I mean those obligatory work dinners or cocktail parties or festive occasions (some birthday parties and graduation included too). Those where you don't know half of the people attending, where you will either be labelled a wallflower or a social butterfly; where you have to learn all the fleeting names of strangers that may or may not cross paths with you again, do the obligatory small talk about various insignificant things, eat modest amounts of dainty finger food even when you are so hungry you could eat a bull... All with a fake, sickly sweet smile plastered on your face throughout.
It is those functions that seriously drain me. Even the thought of them makes me feel exhausted.
Still, social functions seem inevitable at times, because as I said earlier, human beings are herd animals; we just love socialization.
I had the honor of being invited to one just last week, courtesy of the Boy. Much as I would prefer to lie in bed in my pajamas watching sappy TV shows and sipping on ice-cold coke, I knew he wanted to go and really wished that I could join him, so I said yes to being his plus-one. (also because I was curious what would my name card say - I was imagining something like Director of ECT's consort).
It ended up just being Christine. Yeah, I would've guessed.
In all fairness, it was an okay night though. People were friendly, and that helped a little, even though we barely knew anyone who attended. The turn-up was pretty good though, and people did seem to be having a great time. There were quite a few eye surgeons and anesthetists, some dental dept people and other unknown surgeons, some nurse managers as well as administrative people. It was kinda hard for me not to stick out like a sore thumb though, considering the fact that most of the people there were at least twice my age. I felt like that meek little medical student crashing a consultants' meeting all over again. Sigh.
But food was good so I was at least happy with a full tummy at the end of the night. =)
Now, graduation up next. shikesssssss! It's gonna be tedious. I just know.
In the meantime, let me recuperate.
No comments:
Post a Comment