Thursday, November 6, 2014

I still can't believe it!

Day 1 of being a doctor.

So I thought the interview yesterday went okay, and hence for the first time ever, wasn’t too nervous about the results. But still I sprang out of bed at 9am sharp this morning and lurched for my ipad, my heart pounding in my ears. AND YESSSSSSSSSSS I PASSED!!!


It was strange, the initial rush of ecstasy when my brain registered the words in that faithful email. And then the relief, whew finally!  Then the happiness that makes me wanna run and jump and dance around (which I did). And this biggggggg smile on my face that lasted for ages (before I decided that I might get instant wrinkles if I don’t cut it out soon).


After all of that, though, came the slight, sinking feeling inside me. So now what? I almost felt… empty. Like I suddenly felt at lost of what to do. Every single day in the past 5 years I have spent doing clinical placements and attending lectures, rushing assignments, worrying about exams and wondering if I would ever get through med school… and now that I am finally over all those hurdles, it felt like my life just STOPPED abruptly. And I am so used to being all tense. busy and overworked, this sudden abundance of leisure time (though for only two months) is something I really have to get used to.


Take for now, I am roaming the house in my underwear, eating junk food and lying in bed reading Harry Potter (again). Heh, some things never change. I am still fascinated by magic and though I do not believe in it one bit, it did cross my mind (more often than I am willing to admit) that I would give anything to be a student at Hogwarts. Silly silly.


Apart from the initial excitement and the strange niggling emptiness in the pit of my stomach, today felt just like any other day. After all the initial hoo-hah, I am still… me. Doctor me. But still undeniably ordinary me.


Not a bad thing I guess. I shouldn’t let anything change me, afterall.


Off to pole now (yay!). Laters!

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